Rabbi O’s Weekly: Yom Kippur 5782-2021Why is it So Hard to Change? For Jews, this is the season we talk about repentance. Although that word might entail negative connotations, it is derived from the Latin, and literally means regret. Most people, honest people, look back at their day, week, month, year, or life with some level of regret. […]
Doing good is a choice, but it is not limited to acts of beneficence, it also means that you see the good in your life, health, family, friendships, sustenance and so many other blessings that many people overlook. We choose whether we will feel entitled or blessed. An extreme example of how we choose to […]
In the past, Jewish farmers would bring their harvest’s first fruits to Jerusalem. They would travel there with other farmers, led by oxen whose horns had been coated in gold adorned with olive branches placed on their heads. Flutes musically accompanied the procession; they would travel for only two-thirds of the day, which allowed others […]
When you go out to war against your enemies… (Deut. 21:10)This week’s Parsha begins with various laws concerning warfare. However, our sages tell us that the opening verse hints at another type of war; the war we have with our internal selves. In Judaism it’s called the Yetzer Hara (the evil inclination), our internal negative […]
I don’t think anyone reading this is acquainted with a man or woman who built a pillar and then worshipped it. It might have been common in the ancient world but how is this relevant for a 21st century Jew? Here’s one application important for us. And you shall not erect for yourself a pillar, which […]
For a seven-day period you will celebrate before Hashem, your G-d… for Hashem, your G-d, will bless you in all your produce and in all the work of your hands, and you will have nothing but joy. (Deut. 6:15)Are the words “you will have nothing but joy” a commandment? Rashi says no, rather they are a promise for those […]
Consider the following:“Clean up the mess you made” (i.e., you made the mess, now clean it up). “Go find the keys that you lost” (i.e., you lost the keys, now go and find them). “Fix the window you broke.” (i.e., you broke the window, now go and fix it). “Throw out the food you burned.” (i.e., you burned […]
The Talmud relates that one day Choni HaMagel (1st century BCE) was traveling on the road when he encountered a man planting a carob tree. How long does it take for this tree to bear fruit? Seventy years. Are you certain that you will live another seventy years? I found ready grown carob trees in the world; as my forefathers planted […]
Jerry Lewis was a 20th century Jewish comedian. During the taping of the last episode of his (about to be cancelled) show, he quoted an old Jewish saying his mother had taught him, gam zu l’tovah, “this too is for the best” (lit. good). The first verse in this week’s Torah portion mentions a hint of the […]
The following incident about the unique training required by the Army’s most elite special forces unit was recorded by Eric Haney in his book Inside Delta Force.I had covered just slightly over thirty miles by now, but still had more than twenty to go. It was getting more and more difficult to do speed computations in […]
When Moses asked G-d to appoint a successor, the Midrash says that G-d answered Before you command Me concerning My children, command My children concerning Me. Moses proceeded to command the Jewish people concerning the laws of the daily and holiday sacrifices. What quality must a Jewish leader possess? When the Jewish people feared that Moses would not […]
He perceived no iniquity in Jacob, and saw no perversity in Israel” (23:21)The Hebrew word amal, translated here as “perversity,” has a second meaning, “toil.” It is an expression for work, especially laborious and exhausting work. Ohr HaChaim (1696-1743) uses this translation to give a unique interpretation to Balaam’s words: “He saw no exhaustion in Israel.” Balaam perceived that […]
There is a belief that the reason why men typically have messier living spaces than women is because men don’t see the same mess that women do. Men and women can look at the same home and the men can conclude that it is messy and the women won’t. A studyconducted almost two years ago debunked that […]
(Imagine) If Warren Buffet befriended you and wanted to live near you, and he gifted you a few acres of land in Omaha, committed to building a house for you, and cover whatever expenses necessary to get you there. You went to check the property and found there were people living there who refused to […]
Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile. Vince LombardiHow does one make a leader? Let’s take a look at one of Judaism’s best; Moses. In addition to his many accomplishments, his crowning achievement […]
In 2018 a study conducted at Ghent University (Belgium) demonstrated that people act differently when presented with a hypothetical moral decision than when faced with a real-life situation. Participants were presented with the “trolley dilemma,” which involves the following hypothetical scenario. A runaway trolley is about to hit five people on the tracks. They can take no […]
As social distance guidelines are becoming more relaxed, relief has come for many people who have been waiting to return to work and resume their regular routine. Some people are still fearful for the future and are worried about a second wave. Wherever one stands regarding policy, all agree that we all look forward to a […]
You are about to walk into a meeting; what are you thinking? Most likely, how do you look, what will you say, will it go over well? There’s nothing wrong with these thoughts but they are all centered around you and they might lead to fear. What if I flop? Will I get another chance? […]
The authors of Pandemics and the Great Evolutionary Mismatch discuss a scientific conundrum inherent in social distancing. Although social distancing is effective in slowing the spread of the disease, history and neuroscience have shown that in times of crisis, people do best when they have social interactions as a support system. When you remove that option, people have […]
This week’s Parsha continues discussing the harmful effects of lashon hara, senseless negative speech. Many people don’t take speech seriously, speaking about others without regard for their feelings or the potential damage it can cause. King Solomon wrote, Life and death are in the hands of the tongue. One explanation in the Talmud is that negative talk has the […]
You are about to walk across a bridge and you see a man frantically running toward you. You ask “what’s going on?” He answers, “my life has no hope; I am going to jump off the bridge!” This exact incident happened about 150 years ago to one of the most prominent Rabbis of that time. […]
Here’s the challenge: It’s 1922 and you are a Rabbi in oppressive, human rights violating, Communist Russia. What words of wisdom or encouragement would you give to your flock on Passover? How could you talk about freedom when some of their basic human rights were being denied? R’ Moshe Feinstein was in this situation 99 […]
When someone has to do a task that (s)he isn’t looking forward to, it’s common to hear “it’s not very glamorous, but somebody has to do it.” Which means, “this is really awful and meaningless but I have to do it.” But is there another—more positive—way to view these actions, and it is found in […]
Margin/märjən/the edge or border of something. Although margins are important for books, we don’t talk enough about the need to leave space for margins in life. In The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients, Irvin Yalom, Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry at Stanford, says that he never schedules back-to-back appointments. […]
Unlocking Your Potential without Destroying It[The following idea is from a classic 19th century Chassidic work called Mei HaShiloach (Living Waters) addressing one of life’s great challenges: On one hand we need to realize our significance and that we were created for a unique purpose but at the same time we should realize that our accomplishments ultimately come […]
Smiles are a way of gaining people’s trust. When we meet someone and they have a smile on their face, we are much more likely to trust them than if they have a stern face or some other appearance. The obvious question is, we all know that it is easy to fake a smile; how […]
John T. Molloy wrote the highly popular Dress for Success over45 years ago and its message still resonates. Here is an excerpt from a review written by someone who read it decades ago.“I read Dress for Success when I was a skinny, baby faced teenager. I was so impressed by the book’s research and conclusions that I […]
Wearing a mask was once child’s play but one year ago, the role of masks changed dramatically. We now understand that wearing a mask can be a matter of life and death – for us and those around us. In the book Simple Words: Thinking About What Really Matters in Life, Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz devoted an entire […]
The information age has placed a particular emphasis on data. Whatever question we have, we expect that someone already answered our question and posted it online. If we want to know a particular statistic, we expect that it exists and all we need is a google search to find it. A recent article discusses how this trend […]
Imagine a couple standing under the chuppah googly-eyed and in love. The rabbi speaks about the beauty of marriage and the significance of the day. Then, all of a sudden, the bride starts listing her set of rules for the marriage. “Make sure to close the toothpaste, keep the toilet seat down, take out the garbage, pay […]