A chassid was plagued by constant negative thoughts and couldn’t concentrate due to temptation, fantasy, worry, and anxiety. One night he was so desperate that he went to his Rebbe’s house hoping the Rebbe would impart some wisdom for how to rid himself of these destructive thoughts. He knocked on the front door, but nobody answered. He knocked harder, but still no response. He walked around to the side and looked through the window and saw the Rebbe sitting at the dining room table studying, so he knocked on the window but there was no response.The next morning, he asked the Rebbe about the previous night. I desperately needed you last night. I know what you wanted to ask, and I gave you an answer. What do you mean? I knocked and knocked but you never answered; I didn’t even get a chance to ask my question. Last night you came over to my house. You knocked on the front door and then you knocked even harder; you came around and knocked on my window. You kept knocking, but the choice was mine whether or not to let you in. Your thoughts, questions, doubts, temptations, and worries can knock all day on the door of your mind—but never forget, the choice remains yours whether or not to let them in. This is more than just a story; it is a strategy and solution. Like the chassid, so many of us are plagued by unwanted and unwelcome thoughts. They range from feeling like a hopeless failure to unrealistic fantasies to guilt to simply being overwhelmed. We can’t control what knocks but we can control what we choose to let in. The Parsha begins with a commandment to place judges and policemen at all your gates.Appoint judges and police for all your gates…and they will govern the people with justice. This is a direct imperative to ensure that our villages and cities will offer equal justice for all. But there’s another—personal—message being imparted. We need judges and policemen at the gates, the entranceways to our eyes, ears, and souls. We can and must be judicious with what we let in. By doing so, we place safeguards that we aren’t overloaded, distracted, or sabotaged from temporary failure or success. It’s time to stop telling yourself that you can’t control your mind from racing. (We are obviously not talking about diagnosed, clinical mental illnesses requiring therapy and/or medication.) We don’t have to allow negative thoughts, fears, resentments, and regrets to marinate in our minds. You alone are the judge and policeman of the gates into your mind. Decide what to let in, what to think about, what to focus on, what is productive, healthy, and positive and what you are going to lock out, what is a distraction, destructive, negative, and unwelcome. A college professor once gave his students the following exam. It was simply a black dot in the middle of a piece of paper. The professor told them to write what they see and then he read each student’s observations to the class. He pointed out that all of them wrote about the dot and its position on the page—but not a single student wrote about the whiteness that overwhelmingly dominated the page. We don’t always see the bigger picture. Instead of focusing on the lack of money, job, or not being happy with a relationship, focus on the fact you are healthy and have the ability to make good choices. Be thankful, your arms and legs work and so do your eyes and ears. Be thankful for the good people in your life, people who love you and genuinely care. Don’t let the black dot—the negative—sabotage your heart and brain. Focus on what you do have, not on what you’ve lost. We cannot control what knocks, but we absolutely can control what and when we let them in. How can we learghts? We need to start flclhave never been used. Spend a few minutes each day with your technology off so you can have a workout of your newly developed mindful muscles. Practice meditation, sitting silently and growing comfortable not only in your own skin but managing your own mind. David Allen, the great productivity guru writes in his book Getting Things Done, “Your mind is for having ideas, not holding them.” Let them go, put them down, |
