You May Be A Hero But Don’t Realize It
Around the same time that Jacob was fleeing from his brother (who sought to kill him), he was also looking for a wife. Suddenly he had a vision.
He saw a stairway resting on the earth, with its top reaching to heaven, and angels of G-d were ascending and descending on it … (Genesis. 28: 12-17)
He ended up being successful in staying away from his brother and finding a wife but in the process, he also had to endure twenty years of deceit and hardship from his father-in-law. When Jacob and family decided it was time to head back to his hometown, he had another vision. This time instead of seeing individual angels he saw an encampment of them.
So, he called the name of the place Machanaim (lit. an encampment of angels). (Gen. 32:2-3)
A chapter of his life was now completed. Jacob was single when he arrived in Haran twenty years earlier but by the time he left, he was married and had 13 children who would lay the foundation for the Jewish nation. What’s noteworthy is that this great accomplishment didn’t happen in a supportive and nurturing environment. It didn’t happen in the Land of Israel, which usually serves as the cradle of our people and the home of his illustrious parents and grandparents.
The foundation of the Jewish people was born and built in a milieu of deception; the house of the cunning Lavon. While working for Lavon, Jacob didn’t have working conditions allowing for a short workday, long vacations, and other benefits which would have allowed him to spend time educating and bonding with his children. Here is what he told Lavon before leaving.
You demanded compensation from my hand whether [an animal] was stolen from me by day or night. By day heat consumed me, and ice by night. My sleep was taken from my eyes. These twenty years I have been in your house…you have changed my wages twenty times. (Gen. 31:38-41)
He was overworked and mistreated for twenty years and wanted to return home, but Lavon did everything he could to prevent it. The twenty-year struggle to create a noble family who would transmit the main teaching of Abraham—ethical monotheism—was undertaken in an environment of hatred, oppression, and idolatry. He didn’t achieve this goal despite the negative environment, rather because of it. He could not have achieved what he did if he had remained in the comfort and nurturing environment of his parent’s home.
Jacob’s story is the story of the Jewish people. It took the crucible of 210 years of slavery in Egypt to produce a nation able to withstand the obstacles we’ve faced. Some of our greatest moments and scholarly works were produced during the persecutions of the crusades, expulsion from Spain, and even the ghetto during WWII. October 7th was another tragedy that turned many men and women into heroes. It’s the difficult times that seem to bring out the best in us.
There is symbolism in Jacob’s encounters at the beginning and end of his twenty-year journey. When he finally was able to separate his family from his father in law’s grip, he encountered an encampment of angels but when he began his journey (twenty years earlier) he saw angels in his dream, but not an encampment of them. He only achieved greatness after twenty years of remaining true to himself and his mission; after daily struggles of having to retain his integrity amidst an environment hostile to everything he stood for. This is symbolized by his vision of an encampment of angels. When we contrast the visions, it is apparent that the greater of the two happened only after the years-long struggle of remaining true to his purpose and calling.
Jacob’s life is meant to serve as a template for ours. We yearn for comfort, warmth, sleep, or simply finding easy opportunities. We long for an easy life but can you name a single person you admire or aspire to be who hasn’t overcome adversity? People with challenging marriages but who stick through it end up being more understanding of others and their difficulties. People with special needs children have challenges on a daily basis that would break other people, yet they become extremely strong, kind, and understanding because of the challenges they had to live with. People who have children with mental health issues live in a nightmare of mood swings from depression to anger to being impossible to deal with, yet when I speak with these parents, I sense I am talking to someone remarkable. They don’t see it in themselves but commitment for them is a real concept entailing years of hard work, not just a word thrown around at cocktail parties or used in campaign speeches. People who deal with aging parents sometimes feel exhausted, spent, and ready to give up, but they don’t. Many of these people serve as my own teachers in some of life’s critical areas such as commitment, responsibility, and being a giver.
The Almighty grants all of us opportunities to reach our potential, so when challenges come our way, let’s embrace them rather than complain. Even the long-term commitments that inconveniently came our way can be opportunities if we embrace them and change our internal narrative. We might not have asked for them but once they’ve fallen into our lives, we may as well use them to our advantage. As the old Jewish proverb says, “G-d, I’m not asking for a lighter burden, just for stronger shoulders.”
What are your challenges? Remember, as a descendant of Jacob your spiritual DNA allows you to access the prototype created by him. It’s an attitude that allows one to have peace of mind to deal with life on life’s terms.
Good Shabbos